Hello Ladies,
A master of reinvention, Madonna boasts a resume of prolific and iconic contributions to both the music industry and pop culture; however, I harbor hatred in my heart for her wardrobe choices. Back in 1990, Madonna was promoting the Like a Prayer album on her Blonde Ambition Tour, and to kick off the highly controversial show, she appeared on stage with her bra exposed. Given Madonna’s tendencies to flaunt underwear as outerwear, the risque choice shouldn’t have raised an eyebrow. But, this wasn’t any bra. This was the legendary conical bra designed by fashion powerhouse Jean Paul Gauthier:
The futuristic, edgy couture dazzled they eyes, challenged the establishment, and cemented fashion as art. Of course, it also permanently traumatized multiple generations of women who subsequently developed a heightened paranoia about the dreaded “pointy boobs.” Is it any wonder the piece will be on display at Barbican next year?
Flash forward to an average day in the shop: A woman tests a seamed style which not only provides incredible lift, shaping, and support but also meets the textbook requirements for the perfect fit. The color suits her skin tone beautifully, and the fabric feels breathable and soft against the skin. She marvels at herself from the front, the corners of her mouth upturning in a smile, and then she moves to the side. “Hmmm, I don’t know about this. I think it’s too pointy, and I don’t want to look like Madonna.”
The Madonna bomb strikes again, destroying a perfect bra-lationship in the making. Ladies, your boobs look nothing like the Gauthier bra. I’m not even sure there is a bra in existence that could shape breasts into that extreme a point. Sure, there are definitely seamed bras out there which will give a more conical silhouette, but many of these are designed to imitate the bullet bras of the 50s. Think less Queen of Pop and more Joan of Mad Men:
However, the modern silhouettes often unceremoniously dubbed “pointy” usually hope to imitate and contour to the natural shape of the breast. While the profile may not be as high or rounded as a Freya Deco, these fabulous bras are a far cry from the extreme. In fact, styles which give so-called “cone boobs” usually look quite nice underneath clothes (see Christina Hendricks above) where the impact of the silhouette is significantly lessened. Moreover, certain tops, like button-fronts, benefit from a more natural shape. For example, I struggle to wear button up shirts with a Deco, but in a Freya Gem, the top lays smooth without any tugging. In a lingerie world where we are frequently fed the mantra “Round! Round! Round!”, there’s something to be said for experimenting, and the gut reaction will diminish under clothes, trust me.
Not to mention, we, as women, are truly our worst critics. We hyper-analyze every perceived flaw, expanding upon them until we believe they are so noticeable that everyone we meet just has to see them. If you are self-conscious about the shape of your breasts under clothes, then you are more apt to pass up a fabulous bra which would have been a favorite. And for what? Because a stranger might think you have the hint of Madonna boobs?
Don’t get me wrong: Personal preference is key to finding bra styles which you love, but I encourage you to keep an open mind. Break out of your comfort zone and try new styles. You never know what perfect bra you’re missing because Madonna made a questionable wardrobe choice over twenty years ago.
Erica
P.S. For the curious, here are a few of the bras which have been deemed too pointy before: Fantasie Vivienne, Fantasie Marie, Fantasie 4510 T-Shirt Bra, Natori Conceal Contour, Natori Cool Contour, Le Mystere Dream Tisha, Cleo by Panache Jude, Cleo by Panache Lucy, Panache Andorra, Panache Tango Plunge, Curvy Kate Princess, Freya Arabella, and Freya Ellie.
Leave a Reply