Hello Ladies,

What I originally set out to write was a follow-up to an earlier article on preparing for a bra fitting.  Instead of general tips, I wanted to offer advice for mothers and daughters shopping together.  Mother’s Day is on the horizon, and many of our customers like to use the occasion to spend some quality time with family.  I had grand intentions (and still do) of discussing ways to make the experience easy and enjoyable, but as I typed away and watched the black letters materialize into words, I realized I had to—or rather was compelled to—write from the heart and not the mind.

Four years ago today, my mother passed away.  The last words I spoke to her that I know for certain she heard were from the night before when I said:  “Have a good night’s sleep, mom.  I love you.”  Without her, there would be no A Sophisticated Pair.  Her essence infuses the business as much as if she worked in the shop alongside my aunt and me, and today, I will explain why.

My mom did not take any backtalk or excuses from us, and she instituted firm but fair rules for my brother and me to follow.  When adolescent rebellion threatened my studies, she grounded me and explained that she had no problem with me earning a “C” in a subject provided I truly earned it.  “If you worked hard and really tried, and the best you could do was C, then I would be very proud of you.”  Failure was not only acceptable but a necessary part of learning and growing up according to my mom, but only if we had given our all in the attempt.  She never approved of “coasting” by with the bare minimum, and her encouragement to strive for excellence drives the mission of our store.  A Sophisticated Pair does not aim to be an average bra shop.  We don’t even aim to be a wildly successful one if it comes at the cost of our core values.

Despite her encouragement and sometimes prodding, my mom was not afraid to step to the sidelines and let us experience life independent of her protection.  In a touching letter I still posses, she told me she would always be there for me, “two steps behind and a little to the left.”  She wanted to give us the skills we needed to succeed on our own and the confidence to chase after our dreams.  What is the shop if not a dream realized?

Her friendship and loving support was not limited to her family either.  My mom never met a stranger.  She was warm, kind, and welcoming to everyone, and she would help others in any way she could—a trait she instilled in my brother and me.  She allowed us to be selfish in moderation since taking time for yourself is important too, but she wanted us to look beyond ourselves and think of how our decisions, how our actions, and how our words impacted others.    We talk about body positivity often in the blogosphere, and even though the lessons were hard to accept and learn, my mom frequently taught me to love myself.  Whether I was in prime physical condition or overweight and sick, she always made me feel beautiful, but more than that, she taught me that if people want to criticize you for how you look, it says more about them and their character than about yourself.  They weren’t worth the trouble in her eyes.

But, her wisdom expanded into the practical realm as well.  We watched decorating shows together all the time, and she was a whiz with the sewing machine.  Were she still alive, A Sophisticated Pair would offer onsite alterations!  She could change the entire look of a room with a $50 budget, so when we began upfitting the store, we searched for bargains, made our own furniture, and opted for a bolder color on the walls to inject some fun into the space.

For such a long post, you would think I would have more of a point, but I suppose all I really want to say on this sad day is “Thank you, Mom.”  I certainly didn’t say it enough before she passed away, but I am forever grateful to a woman who loved her children above anyone or anything else in this world.  I wish you could be here to see what we’ve built and share in the experience.  You are my inspiration, and I will forever look two steps behind and a little to the left hoping you’ll be there.

Erica